Written on 6:23 PM by Lenix Kok Hao Zhe
Well folks, you heard it! The CEO of LameWare™ has just announced the availability of " Getting To Know Your Lame Shui " books.
BUT!
There's a catch. Customers can choose between buying the whole book at the CHEAP CHEAP price of $599.99 a page..
OR
Find all 1234 pages inside various LameWare™ products and get a free cover!
Its the offer of a lifetime!!!!
Examples of page locations include:
-Inside the nozzle of the Flammable Fire Extinguisher™
-Inside the pack of the Landing Delay Parachutes™
- Underneath the garbage inside the Disposable Garbage Can™
- Wrapping the poop inside the Poop In A Bag™
Happy Hunting~
[Update]
The CEO has witness several pitiful attempts of people trying to find the pages inside stupid places of our products. A man has even been sent to the hospital because he was looking inside the nozzle of our Flammable Fire Extinguishers™ while smoking...
I advise customers not to do that..
Therefore, the CEO has announce that he will release 1 free page to the public, namely page 123 "How To Draw A Decagon Of Lameness, Using Only A Compass And A Pencil Or Stick".
The gracious CEO has also decided to give a 1% discount on every page sold for a total of 2 hours! Each page now costs = $599.99 x 99%
= Elenventy-Twelve Ringgit!!!
Please thank the CEO.
(Products sold are not refundable for cash or Lame-Credit, also known as LC)
Written on 6:00 PM by CEO of LameWare™
Hello!
Thank You for all your support in making LameWare™ an undestructable Lame Fortress.
Today, as the CEO of LameWare™ and Founding Father of Lame™( Founding Father of Lame™ is above all other founders, which are the Founding Fathers of Lameness™. )
I shall touch on the subject of Lame Shui™. 
Many people have always asked me personally " Sir, what is arh, Lame Shui™ arh? "
Well being the Grand Master Of Lame Shui™ I shall reveal to everyone what Lame Shui™ is!
Lame Shui™ is an ancient technique used by Lame Monks™ during 1234 B.C. They were based at a Lame Temple™ at the Tibetian Mountians, where all Lame Shui™ was conducted.
Lame Monks™ would use Lame Circles™ & Squares™ to find out how Lame™ the area is, whether it is Lame™ or Lamer™. They also do this on people. People, during those times, where very cautious about how Lame™ they were. If they weren't Lame™ enough, by atleast some degree.
Dangerous punishment would be dealt. Punishments that were un-imaginable, they used
Swords The Cannot Cut™ on them, and Canes That Break All The Time™, and the worst is Fire That Cannot Burn™. All these punishments were used because they were not lame enough.
To not get punish the people went to seek out the Lame Monks™ to help change their Lame Vibes™.
As time went on, people became more mature and less Lame™. They deserted Lame Shui™ and started their own journey down the path of " BEING MATURE ", because of this they could not obtain the true Lame of Lameminity™.
Lame Shui™ was the true origin of Feng Shui. A Lame Monk™, went out to the world on a journey. Because he went out without the protection of "ARMOR THAT CAN BE PENETRATED™ " he was influenced to think that the Feng of Fang of Fing of Fong of Fung of Harry was the correct way to get Lame™!
This is just a small taste of what is instored in my book called
" Getting To Know Your Lame Shui™ " Which is limitedly sold at LameWare™ Co.
At the price of $599.99 a page.
Collect all the pages and you get a free cover!
Call Now!
At 1300-LAME-ME-THAT-BOOK
Thank You, and a Lame Day to all.
CEO- LameWare™
(Products are not refundable)
Written on 3:26 PM by Lenix Kok Hao Zhe
Hey, this is my biography, Facilitator L- As in Lameness to the Max.
By Lenix Kok
Ok, you probably read and gagged at Facilitator D's biography, and found it extremely hard to read and understand. Some of you might also have though: "THIS SUX BIG TIME!!! WE WANT FACCIE L (NOT FAECES) BIOGRAPHY, FAECES D SUX!!!" XD
So here's how I got dragged into this wonderful establishment.
4o years ago, when the humble creators of Lameware™ were sitting in the Chat Room bar, I was still a hardworking employee in TupperWare™. At the exact same time they were LTICOMP-ing, I was told by my boss in TupperWare™ to finish up a ridiculously large project by that month.
Needless to say, I was pissed. When the deadline came and went, I headed to his office with the project which I had painstakenly worked on 24/7 for the pass month, but he threw it out of the window and threathened to take my family and put them in a room made out of TupperWare™ plastic, which we all know is fatally poisonous.
Anyways I was at a lost of what to do and decided to head to the Chat Room bar for a drink, or 2.... or maybe 10.. Thats when i saw it.
Yes, it. Or rather, them..
The founders of LameWare, selling Poop In A Bag™.
I was ecstatic and a plan formed in my mind. I bought 200 of these wonderful products and had my family placed under LameWare's company care. Then I came back to my boss's office 2 weeks later with my "project"
Boss- What the *censored* is this?
Me- It's my project. *Holds up box*
Boss- Let me see it *Opens box and finds it empty*
Me- Sneaks up behind him and dumped a bucket off Poop In A Bag™ on him.
Needless to say, I was fired and LameWare™ has taken me in. They have provided for me ever since.
How did I rise to Facilitatorship, some of you may ask.
Well, my good friend, Yang di-Perasankan Datuk Tan Sri Denzil Lim, was the main contributor to LameWare™'s fortune. He saw my potential in LAMENESS management and recommended me for Facilitatorship to the CEO, Mr.*Censored*
"How did you become rich?", "Are you single?", "Can I be as successful as you?" All these questions and more will be answered in my book "Faccies VS Faeces" which can be ordered via telephone at 1800-I-GOT-RIPPED-OFF-BUYING-FACILITATOR-D'S-BOOK-SO-NOW-IM-BUYING-YOURS
Or email us at lameware.co@gmail.com
Written on 2:46 PM by Denz_L
LameWare™'s Artist has just made a break through with their new painting.
Our Artist, A.K.A. Hao Yi, or you may know him as Nicholas, or even So Glad I'm Me.
Yes, him. He spent months picturing this work of art.
You can always visit him at :
It can be put anywhere, your living room, bath room, bed room, or even infront of your own car!
Yes! IT GOES ALMOST ANYWHERE! ( It is not water proof, that version is still under testing)
This painting is the LAME of picasso! and its going for only...
$299.99!!!
YES THATS RIGHT YOU HEARD ME!!!
$299.99!!!
Call Us now!!!
1300-I-WANT-THAT-PICTURE-OF-JON-TEOH-93!!!
(Products are not refundable)
Lolz this is a decision made personally by me!
Because Jon_teoh93 said this blog is boring!!
LIKE OMG!! HOW DARE HE!!
WELL PAY BACK!!!
=] TEEHEE!!!
Written on 2:14 PM by Denz_L
The Biography of LameWare™@ by Denzil Lim,
Published by LameWare™ & Associates, BookStore@.
@1995
Production by LameWare™ & Producers, ProductionStore@.
This book is dedicated to the Lameness all over the world.
It was 40 years ago, our company, started it's business just off the Chat Room.
The Chat Room was located at a bar, where my associates & I took our pencils and papers and started chatting. Thats how we did it in the old days.
Our conversation consisted of, the day is sunshine for you?.
That was the slangs we used.
But on that specific day our conversation got on the topic of TupperWare™ and how working there was very "down the old tree" (another slang for bad times). So we decided that we should start our own company, and the chat room went wild with, "LTICOMP" (which stands of Laughing Till I Choked On My Peanuts) Peanuts were the in thing to do, though it was illegal.
After our laughter ended, we actually thought about it and said we could do it! The things we could come up with was "way leafy"(another slang for cool~) than TupperWare™'s inventions.
But we were missing a name, but it wasn't hard we thought hard, had a few peanuts, and we came up with LameWare™ it was better more catchier than TupperWare™.
The next day, we quit our jobs and left TupperWare™. We went to the back of TupperWare™'s building and opened our own company right there. At the parking lot, where we got our big break! All we had was garbage and poop. But that didn't stop us we just took it and sold POOP IN A BAG! POOP IN A BAG! IT's HERE! IT's NOW!! NO MORE PICKING UP POOP!! JUST GET IT IN A BAG!!! ONLY FOR $5.99
People from everywhere started coming with 5s and 1s to buy our product.
It sold faster than, going to the toilet with a stomach ache!
With that we started and earned our way up to the roof top of TupperWare™ building selling our products, or LameWare™.
Now, after 40 years of hard work, we are big and powerful with our fantastic LameWare™.
And our location is just right beside TupperWare™ company!
Thank You for reading.
If you feel like you want to say something or buy this book.
You can get it now, by calling our hotline!
1300-THIS-BOOK-FOR-$150.99
(Products are not refundable)
Written on 2:22 AM by Denz_L
[UPDATE]
Yes, eyewitness reports and forensic evidence have determined that it is, a lamp post. -FacilitatorL
[UPDATE]
The Board Members of LameWare™ has decided that, the Night-Sun-Glasses will be reduced to a price of $99.98.5
The price has been reduced because of a riot just outside the company building, next to TupperWare™. They have been there all day, standing next to what I think is a lamp post.
With ladders and cables. The CEO is sure that they are rioting so the priced has been reduced.
PLUS!!
The Night-Sunglasses has a newer version.
Night-Sunglasses V1.1
This version has littler flowers stick to the side of the glasses.
The upgrade was because the Board Members looked better in them and they like little flowers.
SO CALL NOW!!!
1300-I-NEED-A-PAIR-OF-NIGHT-SUNGLASSES-V1.1
(Products are not refundable)
Written on 12:23 AM by Denz_L
History Of LameWare™
LameWare™ is a small company located just outside the building of TupperWare™.
We were founded in 1985, just 40 years after TupperWare™ was founded.
LameWare™ was an industry ready to pounce into the "lame world". We were young, fit, happy, and all jolly. All we had was just a paper and pencil, but that didn't stop us. Now we are at the peak of our business!
What Do We Sell?
LameWare™ sells products which are usable and applicable to life for the consumer, examples include:
1.Disposable garbage cans to throw garbage... along with the can!!!
2.Solar-powered flash lights which is enviromentally friendly
3.Flammable fire extinguishers, cheaper than their non-flammable cousins, these beauties are an economical miracle!!!
BUY NOW!
All our products have been tested but not necessarily passed.
So call our hotline now at :
1300-I-HAVE-TOO-MUCH-$$$
(Products are not refundable)
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